Tired of Cancer

   So I think it's time to move on. My adventures in boobland have technically been over since March, even though cancer never seems to end. I don't mind still posting about my appointments to keep everyone updated, but I don't want a whole blog devoted to the topic anymore. There's so much else to talk about, like how stupid New Jersey is, or how frustrating it is to be a military spouse, or good books I've read lately, whatever as long as I don't have to focus on cancer cancer cancer anymore.
   I have appointments every day this week, so it's still hard to avoid talking about cancer. I didn't get the Herceptin at my last oncology appointment because my heart functioning had gone past their threshold. I told him my throat hurt, and he said the angle of radiation might have hit my esophagus (oh great). And he looked at the rash all over my stomach and mentioned there's a chance I could have an allergy to the Tamoxifen. I went to the dermatologist and she said it just looks like folliculitis (add that next to "mastectomy" and "Maureen" on the list of words I have trouble pronouncing). She gave me some acne medication for it, and it seems to be clearing up. Afterward, we went to the after hours clinic outside of base since I didn't feel like dealing with the clinic for an urgent care referral. My throat had been hurting for a week and I was tired of it. He did a strep test, which came back negative, and then told me it only detects it 80% of the time. Statistics have never been on my side, so he gave me antibiotics anyway, just in case. The antibiotics tried to counteract the constipation from the pain killers I'd been taking all week, so that wasn't fun, but at least my throat feels better now.
   I finally got my IUD today. That's been an adventure in itself. I got a new referral to go see a different gynecologist, so I could get a consultation for the permanent Essure procedure. When I dropped it off at the clinic, Stankface (desk lady) asked what it was for, and I said the gynecologist. She asked again "But what's it for?" So I told her birth control. I'm pretty sure this is the same woman who my friend dislikes too, because she's always trying to find out your business, when that should be confidential. I guess Stankface wrote something down for the doctor at the clinic, because someone called me at the crack of dawn the next morning saying I'd left "notes asking about birth control". I seriously asked the woman what the heck she was talking about, because it was too early for me to even comprehend what she was saying. Finally I explained to her I'd just dropped off a referral because I had to go get something permanent done since the doctor at the clinic absolutely refused to give me an IUD and the insurance won't pay for it anywhere else. Remember, I'd even asked before if any other doctors were at the clinic who could do it, and was told nope. So this woman says Col. Kennedy can do it. What the heck. She's the really nice woman I saw last year when I originally came in for the lump. So I made an appointment to see her to discuss the IUD. I made sure she was going to do it before I canceled the consultation for the permanent procedure. But I was not pleased with the clinic. The doctor was great, and explained everything and said no problem, she'd give me one. I told her I'm going to request to see her for all my future gynecology appointments. Male gynecologists just don't seem like a good idea.
   I had to call the appointment line when I started my period (the next day). I don't think it was Stankface making the appointment, but I'm sure she would've loved to know about my menstrual cycle. This lady was just as bad though because she said the earliest I could come in was the 18th, but said that I wouldn't be on my period then. Really? You can see into the future? Or you've lived in my body for the last 22 years and know it better than me? If I hadn't had to deal with all the other crap, I wouldn't have minded waiting another month, but after what they put me through, I was determined to get it in as soon as possible. I was about to start yelling at her, but she finally went to ask the doctor and manually created an appointment for me. She apologized for talking to herself while she was entering the information into the computer, and it definitely sounded like satanic chanting in the background. But she got my appointment put in. I had to come in beforehand for a pregnancy test, and didn't realize it was a blood test, so I was chugging water. Obviously I wasn't pregnant. I don't think the lab guys appreciate it when I say I'd have to go get that taken care of right away if I were pregnant for some reason.
   When I came in for the actual procedure, she had me in a chair that almost flipped completely backward, with my butt in the air. I was getting a nice breeze up in there. She had to measure my uterus first, and that was not pleasant, but apparently my uterus is 8 cm long, and did not like being poked. She did say my cervix was being cooperative, even though it didn't really feel that way. She numbed it with the stuff they use for drilling your teeth. It was just kind of crampy, but the IUD was in within 15 minutes without a problem. I have to come back in 4 to 6 weeks for a checkup to make sure it hasn't tried to escape my uterus or rip through the side. But if I don't have any issues with it, this is safe for 10 years of birth control, and no hormones! I considered the Mirena with the hormones, but I think I would worry too much all the time that I'm slowly killing myself somehow. My periods might be longer or worse with the Paragard, but I think this is a better option. I can deal with it. Better than dealing with condoms. I'm married and I don't want to deal with condoms anymore, so I shouldn't have to. And in 7 days I won't have to. Yay!
   I've been cramping out on the couch (see my play on words there?) all day. I see Dr. B tomorrow to make sure my chest is still there. It peeled off in black layers, but I've been putting Aquaphor on it twice a day to goop it up. It looks so much better, even though it's still really red, and I still have random stabbing pains in my armpit. I haven't worn deodorant on either side for a few weeks now, so I probably don't smell great in this heat wave, but I did trim the patch of long straggly hairs that were growing just outside the field of radiation. I finally got my compression sleeve in the mail today too. That was a pain to get through Tricare. Kyle had to help me put it on cause it's SO tight, but within seconds of putting the gauntlet on, my thumb turned blue. That can't be right. I'm going to call the physical therapist tomorrow to ask her about it. The sleeve definitely did something weird to my arm though because it felt cold, like the fluid was moving around, which is good. But cutting off all circulation to my thumb is a bad idea. I've read stuff online about sleeves possibly making lymphedema worse. We're not supposed to put anything tight on our arm, yet wearing a compression sleeve is supposed to help? I'm tempted just to wear it every once in a while (or not at all), until my arm gets worse or bothersome. I need to start doing the exercises and stretches again, because those seem like they help the most. Otherwise, I'd rather not deal with it since it's so mild right now. They don't explain the real risks before surgery, they just say "Watch out for this" and send you on your way. Cancer sucks.
   I'm going to try to get a handicap pass when I see the doctor next week. I feel like I don't REALLY need one, but after all the crap I've been through, I feel like I deserve it. I could never really carry heavy stuff to the car before, but if I really needed to, I could find a way. But now there's no way. It's going to be awhile before I can build my strength back up, and I can't have Kyle with me all the time. I just wish I had gotten one sooner when I really did need it. I could probably apply for disability, but I don't have the energy to fight for that right now. I'd rather just work until I can't anymore. The handicap pass will be enough for now. I just hope I don't have a hard time trying to get one, or when I actually use one. It's exhausting fighting with health insurance and doctors all the time. Just give me a break guys.